7 Steps to Navigate the Holidays with a Baby
Seven steps to navigate the holidays with a baby can be your life preserver during such a stressful time. Share these tips with your partner and get a head start on your planning. Birth is one of those times that an instruction manual would come in handy. Each human spirit is so individual that the need for a unique set of guidelines at any birth could prove advantageous, for the rest of their life. No two beings are the same, and parenting them as such could improve the outcome for both mom & baby. Since our mothering instincts guide us and a lot of trial and error, I thought you might appreciate a few tips on a subject rarely intuitive or discussed. Special Occasion Tips How to navigate holidays, parties, celebrations, vacations, and any occasion that may take you and your baby away from your everyday norm can be confusing at times. Most families would go about the event as usual and deal with issues as they come up, not realizing they could’ve avoided some pitfalls. Get help; If you are in the first weeks (<12 weeks) postpartum and there is an occasion you are hosting, please enlist all those beautiful people in your life who are begging to lend a hand in some capacity. Be humble. Being a supermom is a curse, not a blessing. If you have a hard time letting go due to perfection issues, lower the bar just this once. Learn to “go with the flow” and be grateful for their efforts. There is scientific proof that your body needs to do nothing but rest, recuperate and feed your baby for a minimum of 6 weeks. Everything else will fall into place as it should. Early: The earlier you reach out for assistance during this event, the easier it will be for everyone. If you’re aware of the activity before birth, do some of the preparations ahead of time. Even meals can be cooked and frozen. If you fail to take my advice and do too much, you will feel the ill effects and have regret. Also, beware of going to any events in those first weeks as well. If you can decline the invitation, do so. Maybe you could skype or FaceTime to be part of more important activities. The people who care about you most will understand the importance of your recuperation and fear of germs with a newborn. If you are >three months postpartum, you still have every right to take it easy. The exhaustion and demands of the baby take up a good chunk of your life, and you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Let’s face it, babies can’t help themselves and need you 24/7, and the life events we are asked to be part of or plan will never take precedence. As exciting as it may be to get out and about with family and friends, reconsider when feelings of drudgery creep up. Nothing can be vital enough to cause you constant worry in your first year as a new mom or even a seasoned mom. Learning to care for another person can be so time-consuming that you can’t afford to risk the stress. Remember, stress equals a lowered immune system, which creates illness. You are most crucial to your family and need to stay healthy. Wearing your baby in a crowd will help lessen the germs and prevent well-meaning individuals from touching your little munchkin. If you must share, remind the family to wash or give them a squirt of hand sanitizer. Be especially active in your convictions around flu season, as many people can wake up sick the next day. You can also insist that he needs to eat often and take frequent breaks to avoid germs. Sometimes the baby may enjoy being passed from one relative to another. Even though he may be seemingly content, continue to feed him periodically. If you wait for him to tell you he’s hungry, you may have to deal with a complete meltdown and engorged breasts. He may be distracted one minute and ravenous the next. Engorged breasts can lead to plugged ducts and possibly mastitis, which can lower milk supply, which can create problems that last. Not worth it. On the other hand, you may have a fussier baby on these occasions. Keep in mind all personalities are different, and some babies may feel stressed in these circumstances. It’s best if you’ve prepared yourself to feed in public (practice in front of a mirror) and potentially in the presence of naysayers. He will settle best by continuing to feed frequently and hold or wear him. Someone undoubtedly will ask you if “he’s getting enough” or “when are you going to stop breastfeeding?” or worse yet, “would you like me to feed him a bottle?” Have a few comebacks ready or learn to steer clear of those people. Don’t let ignorant comments bring down your confidence. Do what’s best for you and your family. If you need to travel long distances, plan outside the box. By car, it’s best to visit when the baby sleeps most, even if it’s the middle of the night, and frequently stop when awake. By plane, take nonstop flights, breastfeed during take-off and landing, travel when the baby is sleepiest and pick seats next to a window or 1st class. Keep long-distance traveling to a minimum during those first years. It’s not for everyone. The steps to navigating holidays with a baby can be perfected with enough support and planning. There’s much to consider when pondering a holiday get together or vacation. Prior planning can help prevent catastrophes or lessen the discomfort. Be picky about taking on too much, and don’t let anyone bully you if you’re not up to it. If you find yourself with breastfeeding concerns after an event, be sure to reach out for help right away to get back on track. Happy Parenting!
Meeting Your “New Mom” Needs
Integrating your baby in your life while meeting your “new mom” needs can be tricky. Everyone wants to be part of those first few weeks, but quickly lose interest after the first month. Check on your new mom friends after week four, and you’ll find some of them chomping at the bit to “feel normal again.” Incorporating that balance will take time. Finding something that can help improve your new daily regimen AND keep your baby with you can be challenging. As a new mom, you’re always looking for a small window of opportunity to duck out and exercise, meet friends for lunch, groom at the hairdresser, read a book, run to the store or take a bath without 487 interruptions. It becomes especially important when your health could be suffering; physically or emotionally. We all need a little “me time” to keep the baby blues from enveloping us. Not everyone has enough supportive family or friends close by to watch the baby while you do what is needed to meet your “new mom” needs. There are a few creative ways to include the baby in your lunch, hairdresser, store run, book (you could read your adult book out loud), or bath, but exercise can be tricky. You could incorporate your routine around a sleeping baby, but that could backfire when you are finally feeling the benefits. It helps if you have an older child who is capable of watching the baby for an hour in another room. Alas, even that can be iffy when the sibling is having a rough day while trying to meet your “new mom” needs. Mommy and Me to Meet Your Needs I highly recommend going to playgroups, mommy, and me, breastfeeding support groups, postpartum depression groups, or anything tangible in your area! You can bring the baby and talk to other moms who are in a similar situation. It’s evident that many of you are in online mom groups, but let’s be honest, these people could be robots for all you know. Getting out, having human interaction, and having your little one be around other children is a win-win for everyone. Some of these groups could integrate exercise for adults as well. Imagine a place you could bring your baby and dance, swim, or exercise together? This setting has you both enjoying oxytocin (the feel-good hormone) while benefiting from feeling better about your body. Postnatal yoga is the perfect fit. You can’t go wrong with a class that incorporates a brand new mother and her newborn baby. Besides where else can you sit and breastfeed at any given moment, without concern. There is no pressure or rush to catch up with the other moms and everyone is equally exhausted in this group. If you’ve never done yoga before, relax, this is the least judgmental place to learn. Postpartum Yoga for Balance Curious but uncertain if yoga is for YOU? Maybe you’ve heard that it has a hippie vibe, it’s too spiritual, too witch crafty or too alternative? On the other hand, perhaps you’re a hardcore bodybuilder/gym rat/fitness buff/runner, and practicing yoga doesn’t look challenging enough. Whatever speculation you’ve had about this ancient practice put aside and open your mind. You are looking for a connection with your new body and this is a perfect fit to meet your “new mom” needs. As it stands now, yoga is trending and may come up in conversation. You may hear phrases that sound too good to be true, questioning, and doubting all the buildup to a physical fitness practice that appears wimpy in style. Also, wondering if this is the activity that will be good enough for you and your baby comfortably. Disciplines This tradition is a group of physical, mental, and spiritual disciplines, breaking the barriers of all other types of conditioning. No additional training tests your mind, heart, and spirit the way a traditional yoga class can. Each style has different advantages for improving wellness. Be sure to check them all out: Hatha, Iyengar, Kundalini, Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Bikram, Yin, and Restorative, to name a few. Most of these can be adapted to fit a mom and baby in the group, but seeking an actual postpartum yoga class is most beneficial. Start with the basics and work your way up, or enjoy how good you feel after a class that you didn’t need to leave your baby to profit. Benefits of postpartum (or anytime) yoga that you may find surprising: Strengthens pelvic floor Protection from injury Reduces back discomfort from holding a baby all-day Balance Flexibility Toning Energy Endurance Heart health Improved athleticism Vitality Decrease stress, anxiety & postpartum depression Reduces inflammation Increases speed of cell repair form birth Improves quality of life Lessens chronic pain Mom networking Encourages mindful eating Improves sex life (for next baby) Strengthens your immune system Weight loss Helps repair abdominal muscles Readjusts the hormones Asthma helper Memory Booster Detoxifying Improves respiration Reduces migraine intensity and frequency Promotes deeper sleep Better posture Connection with baby Realigns your body Reminds you to breath Encourages healthy blood flow Aids in healing physically and emotionally from your birth experience Makes you smarter Encourages body love Perhaps the most important and overlooked perk is the sense of community, building your mom tribe. When you leave your ego at the door and immerse yourself in deepening your yoga practice and mommy skills, with and without baby, it’s easy to find your tribe. Yogis are typically noble people who share the same goals: self-improvement, inside and out. So, the next time you’re considering between a postpartum yoga class or weight lifting, perchance, you’ll put all the rumors aside and remember that yogis can kick butt too: spiritually, mentally, and physically- even in the pre and postpartum realm. Happy Parenting!
