Santa’s Lap Shenanigans
The line for the Santa’s lap shenanigans in this small, unpopular mall was around the corner six days before Christmas. I counted 87 people in line, give or take a few kids running in and out of the line; most of them would not be sitting on Santa’s lap. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teens, friends all came out to see little Susie’s reaction to the jolly old man in red. Many children in line had been there over an hour already, and you can see the kids getting close to Santa were having a hard time holding themselves together. By the time this particular family reached the “prize,” one of the three munchkins in tow had an all-out meltdown. High-decibel screaming, real tears, throw himself on the floor, temper tantrum without audible words. Completely ruining the moment for the family as a whole and causing a scene that had a small scale, a similar reaction from close by toddlers waiting their turn. The other kids were about three and five years old and looked horrified by their brother’s display of discourteous behavior, who must’ve been about two. Since I was in the mall to buy gifts (yes, I still leave the house to shop), I took notice of this debacle while standing in line for maybe 3 minutes to order a drink close-by to the Santa shenanigans. What caught my attention was the murmurs of parents I heard behind me telling their offspring that they HAD to sit on Santa’s lap for the traditional family picture. These cherubs were a little older, about 5-6-7 years old. I specifically heard one say she didn’t like the way he looked (she was the oldest in the clan), and the other said: “I think he is creepy.” Mom and dad blew it off and said, “don’t be ridiculous; this one looks better than last year.” The youngest of the crew was quiet and shy following his siblings. Possibly unsure if he wants to please his parents, his siblings, or listen to his inner voice. Maybe even deciding if he knows what that is. My own inner voice began running a list of questions in my head. The who, what, when, where, why, and how did this tradition begin? I knew the history of the Santa Claus fable and the validity of a saint named Nicholas from Turkey who was kind and giving to children. Still, nowhere had I ever remembered reading or learning about the tradition of sitting on anyone’s lap for a picture. Matter of fact, I couldn’t even remember a time as a little one myself that mom brought me to a mall to sit on a scary-looking stranger’s lap. The earliest recollection I have is as a teen with my friends. Probably more as a dare than anything else. Apparently, my mother didn’t make a big deal over my being a good girl and telling Santa what I wanted for Christmas while sitting on his lap for an outrageous price. I had no idea of life otherwise. The Shenanigans in our Family The oldest of my children, born in May 1988, had not been subject to the first Christmas Santa’s lap shenanigans. She was spared the scary tradition as an infant, but my next baby not so much. Born November 1990, my sleeping newborn was put in a stranger’s lap for her first flash along with my 2-year-old who possibly enjoyed the intimidating, large man. Neither protested, and as young, new parents, we didn’t think anything uncomfortable about it. At least this was an all-inclusive shindig at the American Legion party where we knew who was in costume. The next Christmas at the same party with my then one and 3-year-old didn’t go as smoothly. The one-year-old shared her disdain for all creepy characters for the rest of her childhood. We have pictures to prove it. That’s right; we put a crying baby on a character’s lap in those early years, sometimes. Truthfully, it was the Santa picture we were primarily after, not the other cartoons. Approximately every two years, we added another child to the mix. At the time, I thought she’d be sad if she looked back and didn’t see herself in those early Christmas traditional pictures. Nothing is further from the truth. Indeed, the historical images we fetch out each year without a child or two in them have a better story to tell. Explaining to my now adult daughter, the series of events around specific pictures is almost comical. While her siblings didn’t balk about the creepy people dressed to impress little ones, this one fear was non-negotiable to this young mind. Even when we went to Disney World, she was 12 years old, walking up to the characters was not her thing, but we do have a few pictures that she was a part of, clearly with trepidation on her face. Today she has children of her own who may or may not like to get close to a character depending on their mood. Still, my daughter subjects them to the same shenanigans — no pressure, no deep-seated scars from her own fears, and no resentment to her parents. The Importance of the Rouse As parents, honestly, we let her guide us during her childhood. She taught us to respect each child as an individual and not assume the all or nothing rouse. Eventually, when she was old enough to explain herself, we stopped having any expectations of any character involvement. It was clear that bringing her in the vicinity of any masked person made her anxious. Certainly not worth the picture. I did some digging after my recent mall trip; I was after the history surrounding the Santa’s lap story. I didn’t go back; I just wanted to find the information surrounding the lap sitting, picture taking Christmas tradition. The information I found was intriguing but disappointing all the same. Aside from the lack of Jesus in the modern Christmas story, Santa Claus
How to Build a Parenting Blog
How to build a parenting blog starts with a bud of hope. Hope that my parenting wins and fails will entertain you. Hope that my expertise in pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and newborns will be enough to guide you on your unique journey. Most of all, hope that you will NOT feel judged but instead protected to find your inner voice. Emotions Used to Build a Blog It amazes me how much time, reflection, and planning I’ve put into this blogging venture. Many questions were swirling in my head about the goals and direction I’d like this platform to take for months before putting pen to paper (yes, I started with a pen). Not to mention the always nagging speculation on my self-confidence: could I, should I, what makes mine different from other bloggers? From learning the techno garb, finding the right name & logo to investing in the company, it’s been a whirlwind of inner growth. However, when I thought about it, this was not much different from the planning involved to start a family. That is, for those of you who PLAN baby-making. There’s the inception or theory, conception, or act of, pregnancy or growing, labor or grunt work and birth or game day (with blood, sweat, and tears). Building a Blog or Baby? Ironically, I did not put that much thought into baby-making. Maybe I should have, but it never crossed my mind. There wasn’t any doubt that having a child was the right thing for ME. So I just did what came naturally and reveled in the results. Never once was there any regret or concern. I assumed that this process was perfected many times before for thousands of years. No need to reinvent the wheel. Starting a business has been around for eons as well but not on the internet front. Blogging, especially, has only had maybe a full 25 years to develop into the good, bad, and the ugly it is today. So, while I’m not reinventing anything, I do feel the same jitters you feel when you’re pregnant for the first time. As with pregnancy, building a baby or a business for 40 weeks feels like an eternity. The prospect of seeing your hard work come to fruition can be all-consuming. The third trimester brings on a sense of final preparation with a tad of worry. How am I going to get this baby out of me? OR How am I going to “go live” with my blog? It’s one thing to write it all down, but to share your thoughts (or baby) is another. While I may not be feeling the same physical discomforts as a pregnant woman, I indeed have manifested a few correlations. Worth the Work to Blog When all is said and done, the outcome is gratifying; baby or business. There is a time to feel immersed in the baby cocoon that I won’t necessarily experience with my blog, but will enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. Albeit, a brand new mother, would prefer to keep her baby to herself, but I will delight in sharing my knowledge with you. Comparisons *How to build a parenting blog comes with many emotions, but in no way am I minimizing the creation of a human being or the tough grind one must go through to bring forth life. I did have seven babies come from my body and could never downplay the process. I’m merely showing how various life stages may take a similar path.
The Fourth Trimester
It’s strange to hear the newborn period referenced as the “fourth trimester.” You’ve spent 10 (not 9) long months on a countdown through days, weeks, months and trimesters patiently waiting until the end of the third trimester for “this” to be over so you can meet your little one. Emotionally, those first three months postpartum are a time of transformation for you, your baby, and your partner. Learning how to be a family is taxing. Physically your body is adjusting to the new spaciousness, milking breasts, and the crazy hormone acclimation. Let’s not forget the exceptional changes a newborn phase through. The cerebellum alone triples in size during the first year. Those early experiences outside the womb are integral to optimize brain development. Newborns are born slightly immature at full term. The rest of their growth is done through human touch, hence the reason they need to be held like a marsupial. If only a pouch came with the baby to facilitate the “babywearing!” Reality Let’s face it; babies are a lot of work regardless of feeding preference. In the beginning, it is not unheard of to be holding them 20 hours per day or more. Breastfeeding alone can take a half-hour to an hour 8x per day minimum. Bottle feeding can take less time feeding, but more time cleaning, buying, preparing, and planning. The first week’s home, family, and friends can’t wait to help you with holding, changing diapers, bathing, feeding, etc. Even those that choose to bottle feed to share the feedings quickly learn that the novelty wears off, and everyone goes back to normal life. Therefore, you are the sole caregiver and need to do 95% of the feedings and caring. Mothering is the most selfless job but worth every minute! Help If this is your first experience with a newborn, enlist some help from a close friend or family member who you could learn from their experience. Even if it’s your tenth baby, get help during the fourth trimester! You will survive despite having their support, but it may make the learning curve shorter. Although, if you don’t have a good relationship with the family or friend willing to help, then scratch that idea and hire someone instead. Their expertise is priceless. Even if you have one close person to talk/text at all hours, you will feel better. Maybe you are a seasoned mom, but this baby is different from the other/s? Or perhaps you are learning how to divide your attention to each needy individual? Using your support network to give you a needed nap, shower, meal, or alone time with baby can be integral to making a smooth transition. Remember not to feel guilty for demanding this time; your physical and mental health is just as essential to be a mom. Besides, your other child/children had this passage with you, and it’s only fair you and baby have this bonding time too. Needy Understanding how the newborn is wired will make this transition easier. In short, babies are just trying to survive. Eating, pooping, sleeping, and crying is the job of a healthy newborn. If they are not doing this, then something may be wrong. Don’t take it personally when you have literally done everything to settle her, and she is still upset. Sometimes it’s a guessing game, and you lose. Eventually, she will fall asleep or calm down in your arms. If you feel like you are on the verge of falling apart, it’s ok to put her down in a safe place and walk away for a breather. Go outside or somewhere quieter to clear your head. Then return refreshed and capable of handling your crying baby. When she gives you that first meaningful smile, you won’t remember the new mom’s burnout. Promise! Thankfully, the fourth trimester is a short time in the grand scheme of things. Yes, it is exhausting and feels like it will stay like this permanently, but it doesn’t. The human species would have ceased to exist a long time ago if there was no end in sight. Try to soak up this period as much as possible because before you know it, she will be going to kindergarten. Happy Parenting!
