One Baby, Please, Hold the Sugar: A Birth Story
One baby, please, hold the sugar is my daughter’s birth story told from her perspective. These words are her own and don’t necessarily express my personal views or opinions. I welcome all women to share their birth stories! Please contact me if you’d like to publish your birth story on The Incomplete Guide to Parenting. If you are interested in my doula or lactation services, please visit my website Disclaimer: No artificial sweeteners here I’ve gone back and forth about putting my story out into the world. I never wanted to scare anyone, and so when asked, I would come up with a glossed over, toned down version of my story, the “polite” version. But I recently read a birth story that was such a blatant bunch of sugar-coated bull**** that I laughed out loud. I felt like it skirted over the gory details to maintain that polite, perfect facade. The thing is, those kinds of stories hurt me (and many others no doubt) because while I know they’re not honest, there’s a part of me that questions it. Was my experience so out of the ordinary? Why do all these women talk about their births like it was a beautiful dream come true while I still have nightmares about mine? I catch myself feeling resentful towards those moms, and that’s not fair of me either. But it’s how I feel, and I know I’m not the only one. This story is not one of rainbows and candy-coated truths. This story is real and raw, and if that’s not something you can or want to hear, I suggest you move along. I tell my story the way it is because I owe it to myself and to every other woman out there who wonders if she alone has suffered. I hope that others might find solace in knowing that they are not alone and that they might find the strength to talk about their own authentic experiences. Birth: Early Labor I went into labor on a quiet Saturday morning in October. It was 2 am when I awoke to mild contractions. I was five days past my due date and had been impatient for the last couple of weeks, so I eagerly began timing them and saw that they were about 10 minutes apart. I didn’t want to get my hopes up – I’d had Braxton Hicks a few times already. So I tried to relax and go back to sleep, but the contractions continued. Around 6 am, my husband stirred a bit beside me, so I took the opportunity to tell him that I believed labor had started. We were both well prepared for a long haul. I’ve watched and learned from my mom’s and sisters’ pregnancies and knew that, especially for first-time moms, labor could take a while to get going. So we went about our business as usual. I showered and made pancakes. I almost would have forgotten that I was in labor if I didn’t get a little twinge in my back every ten minutes. My mom – who’s also my doula and lactation consultant – had an event to go to that afternoon. She offered to skip it, but I waved her off. I’m sure nothing will happen before tonight at the earliest, I said. Oh, boy was I wrong. Birth: Active Labor It was so sudden. I was taking a bath. One minute I felt relaxed, and the next, my body was just in agony. Contractions – real contractions, not those mild early labor contractions – feel white-hot and twisted, like someone’s wringing your organs as you burn from the inside out. I was crying, and I grabbed my phone to text my husband to come be with me. He timed my next few contractions, and we realized they were 2-4 minutes apart. I was so prepared for a drawn-out labor, but here I was only 10 hours from the first contraction and suddenly in active labor. The shock of it all had me feeling whiplashed. It was barely noon. Should we be going to the hospital? It didn’t seem logical. We called my mom so she could drive with us. She reminded me that I could be expected to labor outside the hospital if I wasn’t dilated enough to be admitted. I hesitated, but at this point, I was barely speaking and was spending a lot of time doubled over crying, so we went. “Contractions feel white-hot and twisted, like someone’s wringing your organs as you burn from the inside out.” The 40-minute drive to the hospital was not pleasant. My contractions were now just one minute apart, lasting for a minute or less. I contracted approximately 20 times in the back seat of a small sedan, crying into my husband’s shoulders while my mom rubbed my back. Being in labor anywhere sucks, but it somehow sucks even worse when you’re confined to a small space. When we finally got there, I was desperate to get in the tub as I had planned for a water birth. I didn’t want an epidural, so being in the water was crucial for me. And what a world of a difference it made. I was still contracting hard and fast, but it was so much more manageable. Birth: Transition My midwife met us upon arrival. She’d watched me through a contraction and admitted me but didn’t check to see how dilated I was. After laboring in the tub a bit, I wanted to know what kind of progress we were making, if any, so I asked her to check me. I was 9.5 centimeters dilated, and the baby was in the -1 station. I was shocked. It was about 1:30 pm. I’d been in active labor for less than 2 hours. I started to feel hopeful that our baby would be born quickly. (Haha that didn’t happen) My water had yet to break, and I was impatient, so I eventually asked my midwife to break
They Told You the Baby is Posterior
They told you the baby is posterior, what exactly does that mean? Posterior fetal position (OP), otherwise known as “sunny-side-up,” is a term used to determine how the baby’s head is presenting when inside mom’s belly. In the OP position, the back (occiput) of the fetal head is towards the woman’s back (posterior), and the baby is looking “sunny-side-up.” Babies have many challenging tasks to accomplish when going from in-utero to mother’s arms. The majority of these efforts are done without mom having to do anything special to be successful in finding the optimal fetal position for birth. In a nutshell, babies are driven to find the correct way out of the water world. Most munchkins settle into the optimal fetal position between the 32nd and 36th week of pregnancy. Eager to find their comfy spot while waiting for labor to begin, the little guy sometimes forgets the rules and gets into an awkward position; breech, transverse, posterior, etc. Ideally, when labor begins, the baby is positioned head-down, facing your back, with the chin tucked to his chest and the back of the head ready to enter the pelvis. This is the cephalic presentation. The goal is to have the smallest part of the head enter the largest opening into the pelvis for an easier labor. Medical Jargon Each time you have an appointment during pregnancy, the caregiver will undoubtedly “palpate” your tummy to learn the position of your baby. Since they don’t have a crystal ball, her longevity of experience can prove helpful. A seasoned midwife or obstetrician should be able to get a good idea if your little one is cooperating. Be sure to ask your attendant what the prediction is. You may not have heard some of the terminology, so take a look at these: Occiput – This refers to the back of the baby’s head or the nape of the baby’s neck Transverse – Sideways, or laying horizontally across Left – The baby’s occiput (back of their head) is facing left Right – The baby’s occiput (back of their head) is facing right Anterior – The front of the mother Posterior – The back of the mother Breech– The baby’s head is up and his bottom is down Even under the best of circumstances, head-down facing your hip or back, baby can change his mind and flip at the last minute. Getting your caregivers’ observation will help you to practice certain behaviors if the babe is in an awkward position ahead of time. If he flips during labor, you can still practice specific exercises with excellent support by your side. Many impossible situations can be remedied with a few small tricks. 20 Tips to Help Baby Rotate You can practice any of these positions during pregnancy & labor unless told otherwise. Always check with the doctor or midwife if you are a “high risk” patient. If anything hurts- back off and adjust to your body signals! Don’t be obsessive, just check them out before your next appointment. Sometimes doing nothing helps too, so I don’t want you to be concerned if you forget to do them here and there. Pelvic rock in a hands and knees position several times a day. Take a deep breath, tuck the chin in and arch your back up like an angry cat. Hold for 5 seconds. Then slowly breathe out while bringing your back to a flat position, bring your head up to face out over 5 seconds. Repeat ten times. Childs Pose will also help encourage a baby to roll more anterior. Taylor sitting helps to keep the woman’s pelvis rotated forward and encourages the baby to do the same. As another variation, try using a rebozo (or any large piece of fabric) in the above positions. When you sit on a chair, make sure your knees are lower than your pelvis, and your trunk should be tilted slightly forward. Sit on an exercise ball whenever possible, especially in labor. Watch TV while kneeling on the floor, over a beanbag or cushions, or sit on a straight back chair. Try sitting on a chair or toilet rear-facing. Sit on a wedge cushion in the car, so that your pelvis is tilted forwards. Keep the seatback upright. Don’t cross your legs! For proper positioning, the baby needs to have lots of space at the front of the pelvis. Don’t put your feet up! Lying back with your feet up encourages posterior presentation. Sleep on your side, not on your back. Preferably your left side. Avoid deep squatting. Squat on a low stool instead, and keep your spine upright, not leaning forward. Crawl on the floor. Walk upstairs two at a time. Lie on your back with a thick towel rolled in the small of your back for 5-10 minutes. When the baby is posterior, he will hyperextend his neck in the posture, which is uncomfortable and forces him to rotate. Swimming with your belly downwards (breast and crawl strokes-not back) is good practice for best positioning. Breaststroke, in particular, is thought to help with proper positioning, because the leg movements help open your pelvis and settle the baby downwards. Various exercises done on all fours can help, such as wiggling your hips from side to side. Lunge side to side and make hip circles while sitting on the birth ball. Use a peanut ball in labor. Research suggests this one device can make a big difference. Hire a doula. Have extra support for you and your partner to benefit from her knowledge. Babies can come out in precarious positions despite all the plans, medical help, preparations, exercises, etc. These tips are to try to avoid prolonged labor or pushing, back pain, instrument delivery, and or cesarean birth. So if they tell you the baby is posterior, remember it doesn’t have to define your birth; your baby may change direction at any time and surprise you. Hang in there!
