IBCLC VS LC: What’s the Difference?
Historically, women would look to their mom, sister, aunt, friend or grandma for support through pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and child rearing. Since formula made its debut in the mid to late 1800s, less and less women have been breastfeeding. By the 1970’s only 1 in 5 women were attempting to breastfeed. Sadly, those who did breastfeed were outcast by their peers and doctors. These mothers would hide their parenting style as if it were a “bad” thing to do. Finally, a feminist group in Chicago, Illinois noticed the need to support mothers who wish to breastfeed in 1956. The seven founders began private meetings for mother to mother support, open to anyone who wished for breastfeeding information. This group is still in existence today and is called La Leche League; named after a Spanish lactating shrine in Florida. These women pioneered a movement to teach “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding “at a time where you couldn’t turn to your doctor, family or friends. They affiliate with medical professionals who provide breastfeeding advice for the trickier problems. La Leche League has grown into an international organization, whose primary focus is to share information and encouragement while building confidence in new mothers who want to breastfeed. Albeit hoping this would eventually bring generations back full circle. So, if we have La Leche League, Breastfeeding USA, Nursing Mothers Advisory Counsel, online groups, breastfeeding cafes and various other free monthly meetings for women in need of breastfeeding support, why then should someone pay for private help? Remember the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, well the same can be said for raising a mother. She will always benefit from complementary support. Seek out your tribe well before delivery if possible and embrace the different mentoring styles. There is a myriad of ways to learn and you will find which classification you fit in. It is a benefit to go to support group meetings. They are free, informal and many lifetime friendships are formed, for you and your children. Not to mention how gratifying it is that someday you will be the confident mom who gives the breastfeeding advice to a newbie. Every now and again, you may need a one on one clinical team for more intricate problems. See below to help navigate the labyrinth to professional lactation support. Unfortunately, in today’s world of hormonal imbalances it is not always a simple ride through pregnancy, birth and beyond so it’s not surprising that some moms and babies may need a more experienced voice. For example; if you have a thyroid problem wouldn’t you want an endocrinologist on your team? Choosing whom to reach out to can feel overwhelming and expensive, consequently making you want to stop breastfeeding instead (which is another expense). Since formula companies would have you believe that human milk and their products are equal, why bother to breastfeed? Sure, we know it’s healthier for babies, but as I pointed out, many generations have not had any human milk and survived. Or did they? To what expense? Before I review the assorted differences in education and experience amongst those with breastfeeding credentials, I want to be clear that they all have the same goals in mind: to give accurate information to the best of their knowledge at the time. I’ve broken these experts down into groups, for ease. If there is a specific credential you are looking for and you aren’t seeing it, I’m sure it’s in one of these categories. Reach out to me for more detailed info. As I said in the beginning, women have been helping women navigate parenthood through experience, since humans roamed the earth. When breastfeeding became “unfashionable” in the 1860’s and women stopped breastfeeding, the techniques that had been passed on for generations fell by the wayside. Since the 1980’s, the limelight has been shed on breastfeeding once again. Public health experts across the world have agreed to educate women about the necessity to use human milk for human babies for healthier generations to come. History does repeat itself, although this time women were unable to look through the lineage of their ancestors for support, thus creating a new way to share the “art” of breastfeeding. Forming generations of curious women who want to help each other with limited experience compelled a new subject in education. Today, with the countless pathways a person chooses to gain education in lactation, a mother will have no problem finding someone to help her pilot her breastfeeding journey. From an experienced stranger online to a friend or family member with some confidence we are on the road back to ancient times. Credentials will tell you the extent of the persons education, not the experience unless he/she is an IBCLC. Only this credential has education and experience. When reaching out for help, ask for the training and background of that person. Would you want someone who finished an online course in endocrinology but has never examined a patient before? Credentials matter when you and your baby are struggling. Remember it takes a village! If you’d like to become a lactation expert, reach out to me and I will help guide you. Happy parenting!
The Rules of Grief
The rules of grief don’t get enough consideration before we are thrown into this bewilderment. Who is aware of the five stages (or is it 7) and the importance of refraining from making any significant decisions in the first year, if you’ve never done this before? Many experienced people will try to tell you these guidelines during the chaos. Still, you can barely see through your torment nevermind absorb the words of wisdom. Whether you experience grief suddenly or you expect it, there is always paralyzing pain. Even if you somehow had the advanced notice of the proper rules of grief, it can be disorienting. How you work through it is another story altogether. Most of my 40’s were about finding the new, orphaned me. Who am I without a mother? How do I grieve appropriately? What exactly are the real rules of grief? Does it really matter, I’ve never been much of a rule-follower anyway? Now an only child who has become the matriarch of her family begrudgingly. I’m angry that I didn’t have anyone to share stories of mom with except my children-who, honestly can’t possibly understand. I’m bitter that I didn’t have a sibling to take on some of the responsibilities associated with moms’ health and death. It was also devasting to feel disconnected from her siblings, who have never checked on me after the funeral. I may sound like a bratty child talking, but grief has its own rules. There is no controlling the process that your brain works through. So, I feel guilty for all of these reactions, even though I shouldn’t. It’s not what I signed up to be or do, so I struggle with the rules of grief. Support for the Rules of Grief It took eight months for me to attend a much-needed grief support group. The same one (couldn’t find any others) that my mother had frequented through the years after her husband died. A place where the counselors who befriended my mother knew me and felt my pain just by looking at me. This part of my anguish was the most difficult to trudge through, alone. These women brought back so many reminders of mom, and I instantly fell apart. I don’t think I stopped crying through the entire meeting. Or the subsequent ones I attended for a few months. I highly recommend these groups to everyone. They are eye-opening. You each share your story (if you want) and feel cleansed by the time you leave. Sure, it doesn’t take away the pain, but honestly, nothing does. It’s just comforting to be surrounded by people who understand your shock at that time. I couldn’t speak my first few visits. Nor could I stop crying. With each story, I empathized and cried more. The tale of my mom was horrible to me, but some of those other stories made me realize how lucky I am to have lived MY story. Not that death is ever a lucky thing! While at the first meeting, I listened to a mother tell the story of her daughters’ death from drugs at 19. There was also a man who lost his wife to suicide — another man who has been attending these meetings for three years since his wife died of cancer. A young 20 something-year-old lost her husband to a motorcycle accident, and I can go on and on. My heart broke with each tragedy shared. Admittedly, these people had it worse than me, I thought, but my suffering was no less agonizing. I still had to get through my nightmare. The Perfect Storm Even though I was taking steps to work through my grief, I start to have physical symptoms. I’m sure you’ve heard how your mind and heart can create your health or illness. Well, I experienced this first hand. Although it took a while to accept that my grief may be triggering the issues I was having. It all seemed like malarky to me. I should preempt this part by explaining how healthy my life has been up to now. Other than developing seasonal allergies in my teens, I rarely got sick. I’m health conscious: eat well, exercise, and take supplements when needed, while also avoiding things that make you sick. Taking on an active role in my mother’s healthcare and very sick years taught me to keep vigilant against any chance of living my mothers’ life. A few months after mom died, I developed a weird rash on the atlas area of my head/neck. With symptoms worsening, I shaved that part of my head (on the underside), so I could see and deal with it better. Having a large family tends to put mom issues on the back burner, so I just kept an eye on it for months. This small thing turned into large, oozing grossness that forced me to seek an answer. While psoriasis is not what someone might classify as a big deal, it was to me. Once you have an autoimmune disease, you are marked forever. I did not handle this well (I assumed the worst and started to anticipate cancer) and probably brought on a slew of other symptoms by not dealing with it emotionally. Almost two years after mom’s death, I experienced symptoms of a heart attack while sitting in a new job orientation. This job was a big transition to move our family out of state. It was an excellent opportunity for me to better understand the crisis of maternal-fetal health by working at the ground level in a Johns Hopkins Hospital, but it came at a price. I didn’t believe the doctor who took thorough, empathetic care of me for many hours when he came back with a panic attack diagnosis. My good friend and Naturopath explained it best: The Perfect Storm! So many stressors, including grief in a relatively short window collided with underlying issues I never knew, were present. Since anxiety or mental health disorders were never an issue, this was foreign to
How to Find Your Mom Tribe
Every woman should have a mom tribe. Even if you’re not pregnant yet, start gathering information to use later when the time is right. Finding a mom tribe is integral to your well being! Here’s a possible scenario: You’re a few days late with your period and decide to pick up an at home pregnancy test. Once in the store, you’re overwhelmed with the options available. Is the price predictive of a more accurate reading? Which one has better reviews? Is one stick easier to pee on than the other? Will you be able to understand the process and how to interpret? With so many questions you may turn to Siri, google, YouTube etc. instead of a friend or family member because you want it to be a secret. Once you buy one and use it, you will likely have many other questions, regardless of the outcome. If the stick shows negative, you may wonder why you’re NOT pregnant. Is something wrong with you- why is your period late- how you dodged the bullet etc. On the other hand, if it’s positive, picking a pregnancy test from the store will seem effortless. Life is about a series of puzzles to figure out. Always looking for the right answers behind each door. So, navigating the labyrinth of pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum and breastfeeding can be rather complex on your own. Hiring the right professionals with the appropriate education, knowledge, experience and passion for your birth should be of paramount importance. Like building a house or managing a sport team: you hire each team player or worker with a special skill set. In those instances, you would make sure the pitcher was pitching- not the short stop or the electrician did the lighting- not the plumber. That’s why an expertly picked team is needed when that pee stick is positive. Deciding where to birth your baby, with whom as the professional, which classes to take, who will be your rock through labor, what labor looks like to you, how your partner fits in and how private the event will be, can be all encompassing. It’s a fallacy to think that you only need to find the right obstetrician or midwife and everything else will fall into place. By taking the time to hand pick the best worker bees during your perinatal period, you will likely reduce most of the anxiety surrounding this exceptional time of your life. Take the Time Now to Gather Your Mom Tribe So, when your period is late and you feel overwhelmed with all the decisions: STOP, take a deep breath and relax. Retreat into your cocoon to sift through the garbage information in your brain and seek quality material relevant to your concerns. Find one confidant (besides your partner) to share your news so you don’t explode. Ask for referrals for a doula from reliable, experienced friends that have similar philosophies. This doula will guide you to finding the physician, midwife, hospital, birth center, birth classes, prenatal exercise classes and alternative birth workers (chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncture etc). In most cases she will help you with pregnancy related questions as well as where to buy cost effective maternity clothes or supplies. Think of her as your tangible, reliable, educated, experienced, trained “google” for the perinatal period. Once you have the doula in place you can sit back and enjoy the pregnancy ride. Happy Parenting to be!
