22 Steps to Toddler Days

Learning the 22 steps to toddler days can alleviate some of the guesswork.  We all know toddlers are a breed of their own. No longer a baby by community standards but equally as needy, when they allow it. Testing boundaries, expanding vocabulary, finding his inner athleticism all while still needing to be coddled if the big, bright world feels too overwhelming.  Especially if he is hearing the words “no, don’t touch that and stop” all day long.

It takes patience, consistency, humor and creativity to parent this bunch, but I assure you it can be done.  Start by focusing on what you can do to preempt the behaviors you don’t want.  Use the acronym H.A.L.T or Hungry, Angry, Lonely Tired to prepare for your day.  If you can prevent outbursts and meltdowns you can enjoy a great day with him.  After all, dealing with a crabby toddler is only going to make a crabby mom or dad.

SAHM version of a toddler day

Try these great strategies to help keep you on track of the 22 steps to toddler days:

1. Wake up– Try to be consistent with time of day.  Breastfeeding, bottle-feeding or just plain cuddling is fine for a little while, but as soon as he is leaving your side it’s time to get up and face the day. ESTIMATE 20 MINUTES
2. Change diaper or use the potty and get dressed– make a game of it by singing or counting. ESTIMATE 15 MINUTES
3. Wash up and brush teeth– Use a special song that will keep him brushing longer.  Something that really gets his attention, only for this time of day.  Don’t stress, just make it fun.  Eventually he will brush better. ESTIMATE 10 MINUTES
4. Play with toys while you prepare food and or tend to your own needs (vitamins, coffee etc.)- You can use your own kitchen tools to entertain baby.  Matter of fact set aside a lower cabinet that baby can use whenever he wants.  Put only the safest FUN interesting dishes in there.  Start with pots and pans, plastic or wooden spoons, spatulas, cups, measuring spoons, Tupperware etc. You don’t need much for your little one to be entertained.  Only let him into this cabinet when you need distractions while cooking or in the kitchen.  ESTIMATE 15 MINUTES
5. Eat a well-balanced breakfast– this may be the only decent meal you can get into a busy toddler.  See if you can offer all the food groups in small quantities to cover your bases.  Try to sit with him at the table and make it a morning routine.  Even if you offer a piece of apple, an egg with spinach and a few beans you’ve done a great job.  Some toddlers eat best when on the go.  It’s ok for now.  You can try table meals again in a few weeks or months when he has a better attention span and is intrigued by you sitting at the table. ESTIMATE 15 MINUTES

WHEW, you’ve done all of this and it’s only 9am!  Congratulations, now you know the busy beaver is set up for success!  Most will be getting ready for a nap within 2 hours of waking.  Don’t let that window slip away.  It’s important to honor that first nap to be successful for the rest of the day. 

Ideally, try to have your planned activities ready the night before.  This can be anything from a simple craft to a hike in the woods.

Be consistent with your 22 steps-when possible:

•  Most toddlers have a ton of energy, so it’s best to use a physical activity after breakfast when possible.  You can both get some exercise and start the day feeling energized. A walk around the block, running in the yard, attempt a game of catch and throw, ride on toys in your driveway or go for a brisk walk/run with baby in stroller.  If you put him in a stroller, keep in mind he will still need to release some excess liveliness when you return.  ESTIMATE 30-45 MINUTES
• Change diaper wash up and prepare for naptime– again, it’s great if you can stick to routine and matter of fact behavior on your part.  Kids thrive on consistency at this age.
• 10am-12pm ish could be NAP TIME- even if your child will not nap, teach him that it’s time to rest.  Create a space that is acceptable to you for him to do this.  Maybe it’s alone in his room or crib/bed or perhaps you will lay down with him for some R&R yourself.  It’s perfectly fine to still be cuddling or nursing to sleep if that works for your family. Either way if you set the stage for what is appropriate and what is not tolerated, he will eventually come around. Just be sure to clear the environment of distractions (including devices) as much as possible and set the ambience to avoid any meltdowns. ESTIMATE 1-2 HOURS
• It’s YOU time– use your time wisely.  Sitting on your phone scrolling through memes and other people’s lives when you hear that first call for mom or dad will set the stage for the rest of your day.  It is important to do SOME adulting tasks but allow yourself to revel in the quiet as well.  A nap is ok too.
• Repeat steps 1-4- this time it will be faster since you won’t need teeth and dressing time, plus you aren’t as sleepy.  ESTIMATE 15-30 minutes
• Lunch time– keep it simple with good food groups and accept that snacking is a toddler thing. Try plain yogurt with granola and berries if he is willing to sit still.  Otherwise, peanut or almond butter on banana or multi grain toast or crackers.
• After lunch and before the next nap is a good time to run errands or meet friends for a playdate.  Just make it relatively short ESTIMATE 1-2 hours
• At home activities– have a few things ready to challenge his mind if you won’t be running errands.  Try some of these ideas; block building, puzzles, sorting shapes or colors, playdoh, pipe cleaner activities or painting with water for quick easy. The trick is to do it with him over and over if needed.  ESTIMATE 20-40 MINUTES
• Exercise before the 2^nd nap– just a few minutes dancing to music or running outside will wear out even the most stubborn of little ones.  ESTIMATE 30 MINUTES
• 2-4pm ish could be 2^nd NAP TIME– Although this nap may occur in transit if you’ve been out and about and or be shorter, it’s ok. When this happens, try to plan a rest in the car for yourself along the way.  Pull your car into the driveway, parking lot, empty area-lock the doors, close your eyes and ignore your phone.  Even a 15-minute breather will give you the energy to get through the bewitching hours (4-8pm).  If you are home, spend half your time doing adult responsibilities (tip: get dinner prepped if you didn’t already) and half taking care of you.  Don’t waste it on social media.
• Repeat steps 1-4- add a snack and you’ll be set up for success. ESTIMATE 15-30 MINUTES

Here’s where the day gets tricky, customize your toddler day:

You as the parent have less and less patience, kids get more rambunctious and dinner needs to prepare itself, sort of.  If you go into the bewitching hours with this is mind, you can be better situated to deal with it.  Hopefully, you have a reprieve coming home soon and this distraction alone can give you a much-needed break.  Hang in there, you’ve got this!

1.  Outside time- if you haven’t been outside yet today, do it now when appropriate.  Take a walk, run the yard, go to a park or just sit on porch while he burns off some energy. If the weather isn’t cooperating, try some tumbling on a safe, soft surface, peek a boo, have him help with chores (put in and take out something like a basket full of laundry-socks work great), do a mommy and me exercise show and or try hand songs.  Anything to wear him out for the day.  ESTIMATE 30-45 MINUTES
2. Wash up
3. 6PM ish could be Dinner time- Especially when still alone-if the mood and age is appropriate try letting him help in the kitchen, at the counter with a stool.  Obviously keep the sharp stuff out of reach but letting him think he’s helping in some way will assist you in your productivity.  Even if you give him flour and water to mix in a bowl or put him at the sink with a bowl of water and some small toys to get wet (with safe bubbles for added bonus), this activity can give you the few minutes you need to focus on dinner.  Don’t forget the special cabinet with safe kitchen items for him to play with. ESTIMATE 60 MINUTES
4. Free Play- while you clean and catch up with partner about each other’s day. ESTIMATE 15-45 MINUTES
5. 7-730 ish could be Bedtime ritual- whatever that looks likefor you and your family. Wash up or bathe after dinner, read a book or ten, sing songs, cuddle and create the atmosphere of calm.  One last snack, nursing, cup or bottle and down for the night (sort of).  ESTIMATE 60 MINUTES
6. Couple Time-As exhausted as you both may be, do some chores but really try to spend a few minutes alone focusing on you as a couple.  Cuddle, watch TV, be romantic etc. while avoiding the conversations about kid/s.  ESTIMATE 60 MINUTES BEFORE YOU ARE BOTH SNORING.

When planning these 22 steps to toddler days, be flexible. These estimated times are for the statistically large number of families on this schedule. Some families cannot work within these perimeters if you have other distractions throughout your day. This schedule assumes your toddler will sleep until 7-8am, take 2 good naps and go to bed around 8pm.  Not every day will be the same nor will two toddlers have the same sleeping schedule (that’s a whole other blog).  Just like you and your partner may have different sleep needs.  Don’t focus on the amount of time he sleeps or spends on each activity, just put the itinerary in place and watch how it unfolds.  The predictability of his schedule will make a happy toddler which makes happy parents.  Win-win!

Happy Parenting!