Chow Time with Kids
Chow time with kids can go either way. Every day is a new adventure with the fickle offspring. For a parent, planning and preparing meals is likely a daunting task and can make for tension around mealtimes. Finding what pleases everyone in a family could make you wish for a chef. Kids have a love-hate relationship with food. Have you ever noticed how fast their favorite meal this week is the hated one next week? When you think you’ve found a mealtime pattern of happiness, those little monsters go switching things up. In our house, a favorite saying is, “Which way is the wind blowing today?” Meaning, do you like bananas (or some other food) or not? I still say this to my 13-year-old-eye roll! I’ll be honest here, with almost 32 years of experience raising 7-of-those-that-make-us-question-everything, I found no magic that has them approve or disapprove a specific food. Nor have I concocted any spell that makes my offspring try everything I put in front of them. The best tip I learned, by default; The busier I was the less I worried about what they were eating. Don’t worry; I didn’t let them starve or eat ring dings (are they even still around?) for breakfast. I always put out a plate of nutritionally balanced food and prayed for the best. Sometimes I was lucky and other times, not so much. Depending on my hustle of the day, I may choose to fight about chow time with kids or let it go. No Perfection Here Truthfully, I raised my children in a home where we offered foods in their most natural state as possible-most of the time. We belonged to CSA’s, planted food in our yard, had reciprocal bounty sharing with friends, went to Farmer’s Markets, frequented health food stores, and tried to teach the brood how crucial healthy food was to our existence. There was no perfect parenting, though! We still had the occasional fast food stop, boxed food night, or indulgent dessert. We did our best to instill good choices with balance as they evolved into young adults. We were hoping that we inspired enough for them to make healthy decisions throughout their lives. From infancy through adulthood, each child had their food quirks. As you probably have figured by now, it’s impossible to keep those youngsters in a bubble. They quickly learn all about the foods you’re trying to limit, from friends and other family members or commercials and society in general. Nevermind attending another little one’s birthday party, complete with all the processed, food dye, deep-fried, sugar-laden carbs you can find. So What’s a Parent to Do? My current binge-watching TV show is set in the 1700s, and while it may not be a perfect depiction, I have been observing how the children were parented. Good, bad, or indifferent-who knows? I will attest that 300 years ago when it was mealtime, everyone sat together and had a bowl or plate with the same food. Chow time with kids was no different. Either they ate what they had or went hungry. Sounds simple, right? As with all things parenting by today’s standards, we put too much time effort and energy into overthinking childrearing-including feeding them. Maybe if we had chores from sun up to sun down like those yesteryears, we wouldn’t be helicopter parents. Those families had no time to worry about everything little Billy did all day long. Plus, those children had chores a good portion of the time as well, even at 4-5-6 years old. So, for the sake of simplicity, why not back off? Keep a regular mealtime plan, limit the options, set down a colorful plate of whole foods, and go about your own business. No conversation about food, no debate, no switching anything-just plain old “this is what you get!” What’s the worst that could happen? Hungry kid, temper tantrum, wasted food, arguments amongst adults or with child-or both? All manageable. Enough hunger and eventually, they would concede the battle. Just In Case; For Chow Time with Kids Besides the “back off” method, I do have a few tips I found helpful through the years. Some worked better on one tot or another, but overall these were successful resolutions for chow time with kids. Stick to a routine whenever possible. Kids thrive on a predictable day. Avoid letting the tykes snack an hour before dinner. Hungrier is better. Encourage building an appetite. Outside play, chores, exercise, or just dancing can burn extra calories and ensure they will eat when they’re at the table. Make the ambiance upbeat. Have a pleasant meal conversation. Save any heated discussions for after mealtime. Give a warning message, bell, music, etc. 10 minutes before the kid needs to eat. They don’t like to disrupt playtime, and this will help make the transition. Enlist the help of those that will be eating. Even simple things for smaller ones like carry the cups to the table. Keep distractions out of the eating area, including all screens, toys, mail, homework, movies, etc. Please don’t force them to clean their plate. Whatever the little ones finish is a windfall. Give a set time limit that everyone has to stay at the table (10-15 minutes is okay- just be consistent). Remind them it is family time. No negotiating or bribing. It sets you up for more problems in the long run. Make an appropriate sized plate. Use the 1 tablespoon per age rule in the early years. For example, a 2-year-old would get 2 tablespoons worth of chicken, vegetables, and rice; 3 TBS for a 3-year-old, 4 TBS for a 4-year-old, you get the drift. Limit beverages at mealtimes and keep it to water only. Be a good role model. Try not to show your displeasure with food around the children. You can share the things that don’t tickle your palate at another time. Don’t buy junk. Or, if you do, keep it hidden. Kids don’t NEED cookies, soda, and donuts
Third Trimester Planning
Third-trimester planning takes the pressure off when you are busy learning your new role- MOM! It’s not essential for you to do everything on the list before the baby, but it can improve your recovery from birth. You will become an awesome mother whether you’re prepared or not; after all, babies don’t require much more than diapers, clothes, breasts, and shelter. It’ll be ok! To-Do List Employer conversation: Know the federal, state, and office policies on FMLA-pregnancy-maternity leave and the pumping at work laws before you broach the subject with your boss. Be well versed in your rights and start that conversation now about your plans to return even if you’re not sure or think you may not go back. Get a tentative return to work date agreed upon and explain that you’d like to ease back in. Potentially work from home before going into the office or go back on a Thursday instead of a Monday or possibly start with half days etc. shorten your first weeks back. Get creative and don’t be afraid to explain what you’re thinking. Most bosses want to work it out so that you can be successful when you return, not distracted. Don’t forget to discuss your breastfeeding plans and the need to pump. Find a place that you can safely, effectively pump 3-4 times per day until you get settled (it’ll be less frequent after the first month). Ask your seasoned coworkers where they pumped and how they made it work successfully. Be committed to doing what it takes to feed your baby organic, straight from the source, unprocessed food! Educate Yourself Class: If you haven’t had a birth-breastfeeding-newborn care class, do it now! Each class has valuable perks with the right teacher. Preferably, you’ve been working with a doula that has been teaching you throughout the pregnancy. Still, it’s never too late to find one. If a doula is not in your plan, get into a class ASAP. While I’m all for online learning, I do believe there are many more benefits to an in-person class or 2 when it comes to pregnancy. You will gain a lot from the questions asked in the room as well as likely make a few mom/dad friends. Plus, there is no comparison to having tangible props and a live expert to connect with. Especially if she is local. Support in the Third Trimester Build your tribe! Find local mom friends who can help you navigate new parenthood. People who have similar philosophies, backgrounds, and plans as you are preparing. You should be looking for the least judgy, always ready to help, and most supportive of kin to add to your village. She will be who you call/text late at night with what seems like silly questions or to cry on her shoulder. If you happen to be the first in your friends to be entering motherhood, it’s ok-you’ll have to look further than your close circle. There are thousands of women in your area who would love to connect and share. Find all the experts! Know who your community resources are ahead of time. You want to be familiar with those that can help in a variety of ways. Professionals who can help with baby questions/care, nannies or daycares, breastfeeding experts, alternative caregivers like a prenatal-newborn chiropractor-craniosacral therapist-naturopath-pediatric dentist or ENT-prenatal/postpartum yoga teacher-pelvic floor specialist, etc. Keeping a list of the most highly regarded experts can save you time later if you experience any setbacks or health conditions. Visitor preparations Prepare your visitors: Sounds frivolous and straightforward, but it’s worth the extra planning. You and your partner need to have a discussion, right now, about the people allowed in the labor/birth room. Be sure to include who will be allowed to visit in the days and weeks beyond that as well. Don’t leave it to family and friends to decide. Agree to what is most important to you both and stick with a well thought out plan. Share this arrangement with your over-exuberant folk, and don’t let them talk you out of it. It’s ok, it’s your right-your baby, and they can all wait. Have a meal plan: Every time you prepare a meal in the last trimester, make extra and freeze it. Even if it’s a small amount, these meals can quickly help you maneuver through the first few weeks. Honestly, it doesn’t take much to apply the same concept in a well-meaning friends’ kitchen. Just ask a few BFF’s to help out. Stock up on non-perishable, easy to grab, quick snacks to leave by your “nursing corner.” Always have fresh water by your side. You will be very thirsty in the fourth trimester. Most of your pregnancy is spent dreaming about what your baby will look like and dealing with the ailments that come with growing a human while the end slowly sneaks up on you. If you handle most of the “business” part of the 3rd and 4th trimester now, you’ll find yourself relaxing and enjoying your baby later. Third-trimester planning is a win-win for everyone!
